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DON'T EAT AT THESE PLACES!
Applebee's
Review #

Restaurant

Location

Reviewer

Date

Rating

34

Applebee's

7522 N I-35 Service Rd S
Austin, TX 78752
(512) 371-7018

Head Public Restaurant Critic

5/2/2008

Sucks!

You know, I might not be the best person to review an Applebee's dining experience as I am a bit biased in my loathfulness towards these faux-American dining corporate franchises like Applebee's, Bennigan's, Chili's, T.G.I.Fridays, but seeing as I did have a dining experience at a local Applebee's, that means I get to review it.

First, I wouldn't normally visit an Applebee's, but one of my friends had some Applebee's giftcards he wanted to spend and asked me to go along with him -- he promised to pay for my drinks, so I agreed.

One of the first signs that I was in for a mediocre dining experience happened upon seeing a group of senior citizens exiting the Applebee's that we were about to enter. There's nothing wrong with senior citizens per se, but as a twenty-something year old man, there are a lot of other places I would rather eat at than a restaurant full of old people. Luckily, the entire restaurant wasn't full of old people, but just partly.

For my meal, I decided to order a steak, medium, which came with a baked potato. The meal was fine, but I'm in a mood for nitpicking so I'm going to point out a few things. First, I ordered my steak medium, but it was served half well done, half medium well. The steak was unevenly cooked. Secondly, my baked potato, which I got 'loaded' (an important point that will round out my review), was sliced in half and then had the butter, sour cream, cheese, and bacon bits thrown on top. The problem with this is that the toppings have a tendency to slide off. Most restaurants that serve baked potatoes cut a slit in the middle long-wise, then push the potato together to create a hole or bowl in the baked potato in which to place the toppings. Slicing the potato in half, the way Applebee's did, is just lazy and shows a lack of attention to detail, or a lack of caring, either one.

But overall, my meal wasn't bad. Personally, I don't care for the atmosphere of restaurants like Applebee's, which cater to the most generic American families and are perfectly marketed to be the least offensive and most welcoming to the average Joe, thus becoming the most bland and uninteresting restaurants in the process. Case in point, there were a bunch of teenagers at the restaurant as part of a school group from out of town, joined by their sponsor/teacher. There's nothing wrong with that, but when you have a restaurant that can host a group of old people and a bunch of teenagers, not to mention the groups of co-workers having after hours drinks, I really don't want to eat there. It's just too ordinary. Too 'safe'.

Looking at their menu, with dishes by celebrity chefs and meals approved by Weight Watchers or some such similar b.s., I got the feeling that Applebee's passion is not in their food (their meals are too perfectly structured to appeal to the most people), but in making money, and I'm fine with that. I just won't ever eat at another Applebee's again. Unless I have a giftcard or my friend promises to buy me drinks again.

All in all, my meal wasn't bad, and the dining experience was okay, if lackluster. But what really pissed me off was when I got my bill. Like I said earlier, I got my baked potato 'loaded', with everything on it. They f*cking charged me a dollar for that, for having it 'loaded'. This is the first restaurant I have ever been to where they charge you for getting your baked potato 'loaded' when it's listed as part of the plate, and no where on the menu did I see it would cost me extra either. F*ck Applebee's and their money making schemes, trying to squeeze every last penny out of their customers. Honestly, I wouldn't be pissed if the plate had cost a dollar extra -- I'm just pissed that these motherf*ckers are trying to tack on extra charges for something that should come with the potato in the first place, the damn f*cking toppings.

F*ck Applebee's. Don't eat there.

Bennigan's
Review #

Restaurant

Location

Reviewer

Date

Rating

59

Bennigan's

4025 I-H 35 South
San Marcos, TX 78666
(512) 392-5511

Head Public Restaurant Critic

7/31/2008

Sucks!

No wonder Bennigan's shut down most of their stores, this restaurant chain sucks.

My friend and I decided to eat at one of the few Bennigan's restaurants still open because we didn't know when the next opportunity to eat at a Bennigan's would be, if ever. So we ate at Bennigan's, and it sucked.

I ordered a chipotle burger, and it sucked. The hamburger patty was falling off the bottom bun when I got it and I had to put it back in place with my fork. The cheese was half on the patty, half off. The only thing 'chipotle' about the burger were like 3 pieces of caramelized onions. And they were pretty stingy with the fries too.

The service sucked. We had a male waiter serve us, and he was just very pushy throughout our entire meal. My friend and I were undecided on what we wanted to eat because we couldn't find anything good to eat because the Bennigan's menu sucks, and the waiter just kept naming dishes saying they were all good hoping me and my friend would just pick something he said so that he could go off and put our order in. When we finally got our meal, it sucked. Then, half way through our meal, the waiter is already asking us if we want dessert, half way through our meal! When we said we didn't want dessert, he just plopped down the bill on our table -- half way through our meal! The waiter was just too pushy and kept rushing me and my friend, I guess to get us out the door so that he could seat, and collect the tips of, more people.

Overall, Bennigan's sucks. Don't eat there. And you might not even have the option of eating there anymore if they shut down the rest of them. Good riddance.



Logan's Roadhouse (Austin)
Review #

Restaurant

Location

Reviewer

Date

Rating

39

Logan's Roadhouse

701 E. Stassney Bldg. C
Austin, Texas 78745
(512) 912-8702

Head Public Restaurant Critic

5/16/2008

Sucks

I started this website because I had a horrible experience at a Logan's Roadhouse, and in my #0 ( *Ground Zero*) review, I wrote such things as "Overall, I will never eat at a Logan's Roadhouse ever again." and "Shitty service and shitty food equals a bad review. No more Logan's for me, ever." Well, apparently, I lied as I just ate at a Logan's Roadhouse again, but it wasn't my choice as I was dragged there, kicking and screaming, for a graduation party.

This visit wasn't nearly as bad as my previous visit, but I can still say without a doubt that I will never choose to visit a Logan's Roadhouse again of my own volition.

First, Logan's Roadhouse has complimentary peanuts, still in their shell, which you unshell, eat, and then throw the shells on the ground. I like free peanuts, but it's like Logan's Roadhouse wants to be known as that place where you can throw your peanut shells on the ground. It wouldn't be that hard to have trash cans strategically placed or bowls on the tables to throw your shells into.

Second, I can't stand places where the entire wait staff makes a big ruckus and sings "Happy Birthday" or some analogous song to their guests -- that's just plain annoying.

Third, they forgot my side order of macaroni and cheese. I had to remind them that I had ordered it, and I hate reminding people of stuff I ordered.

Fourth, a girl in our party found a hair in her mashed potatoes. The waitress took the plate back and returned with a hair free plate, but my table-mates and I were left wondering what exactly did they do to the plate. Did they just remove the hair? Did they replace the mashed potatoes? Did they not replace the mashed potatoes thinking we would assume that they would replace the mashed potatoes?

Fifth, they frakking charged me an extra 99 cents to have my baked potato "loaded", which is just corporate 'nickel-&-diming'. Seriously, who orders just a plain baked potato? If more than 25% of customers just ordered a plain baked potato, I'd be really really surprised. Seriously, just include the cost of a loaded baked potato in the menu price.

Sixth, actually my food was pretty good, but it's kind of hard to mess up salmon.

Finally, don't eat at Logan's Roadhouse, ever.


Logan's Roadhouse (McAllen)
Review #

Restaurant

Location

Reviewer

Date

Rating

0 *Ground Zero*

Logan's Roadhouse

7612 N. 10th St.
N. McAllen, TX 78504
(956) 631-7344

Head Public Restaurant Critic

12/23/2007

Sucks

On December 23rd, I went out with my parents and brother to Logan's Roadhouse in McAllen, Texas. There was the usual wait, but things started to go down hill when we were seated. The waiter was nice, but incompetent -- the real problem was the food and overall service.

1.) My dad ordered a bowl of chili as his entree, but as we were being served our food, the waiter apologized and informed us that they were out of chili, as, let me state again, we were being served out food. The waiter should have told us they were out of chili as he was taking our orders or shortly thereafter. Granted, the waiter might not have known himself that they were out of chili, but someone, a cook at least, should have notified him when they got our orders.

2.) My mom ordered an appetizer platter, which included celery sticks to compliment the buffalo wings, but the celery sticks were DECOMPOSING. Either they had been frozen or they were old, but the were turning to gloo.

3.) In place of the non-existent chili, my dad ordered an appetizer platter, just as my mom had did. The appetizer is supposed to come with 3 different items (my mom's did) but my dad only got 2 different items. The waiter did not say why, so we had to ask why, when we had ordered 2 of the same plates, they come back looking different. The waiter said that they ran out of one of the items, which is understandable (somewhat), but unacceptable in relation to the shitty service we also received from the restaurant as a whole.

Overall, I will never eat at a Logan's Roadhouse ever again. The waiter apologized for the service and food saying that they had just finished serving a big party, explaining why some of the food was out of stock, but still, its a restaurant, and they are supposed to be prepared for almost anything.

Shitty service and shitty food equals a bad review. No more Logan's for me, ever.

Maki
Review #

Restaurant

Location

Reviewer

Date

Rating

115

Maki

1623 W University Dr
Edinburg, TX 78539
(956) 380-6254

Head Public Restaurant Critic

7/31/2009

Sucks!

I passed by a new sushi restaurant in Edinburg (it was new to me at least); saw that they were advertising $5.59 rolls on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; decided to check it out on a Friday; and was hugely, HUGELY disappointed by this restaurant.

1.) When I walked in for lunch on a Friday, and I had to stand around for a good 10 minutes before I inquired whether I had to be seated by a hostess or waitress or some other staff, or whether I could seat myself. I was told I could seat myself, which was not apparently evident to me as this looked like a restaurant where one doesn't seat himself, but oh well.

2.) I had the option of seating myself at one of several open tables, but the problem was that all of the open tables had not been cleaned from the previous occupants, so I had to choose the best of the worst tables available.

3.) One thing that did excite me about the restaurant was when I inquired to the waitress which rolls on the menu were $5.59 and she responded they all were. That was awesome, so I ended up ordering a normally $9.25 Sandoval (I believe that was the name) roll, which had crab, cucumber, avocado, masago, and cream cheese, with salmon on the outside. The bad part was when I received the 12 piece roll, saw how small it was, and realized that I would not have paid $5 for it. The worse part was when I tasted the roll and didn't find it that appealing. Also, one pet peeve of mine is when sushi restaurants don't finely slice their cucumber that they use in rolls -- this restaurant is guilty of that.

4.) My lunch mate doesn't eat sushi and asked the waitress what other things were good at the restaurant. My lunch mate found a rice bowl on the menu and inquired about it, and the waitress said that it was a big rice bowl able to feed two to three people (which she compared to a big cereal bowl), that has beef, chicken, or shrimp, or all three meats. My lunch mate, going on the advice of the waitress, got the rice bowl with all three meats, and I was appalled when that bowl finally got to our table. First, it was a small bowl and there's no way it would have fed two to three people. Second, it looked like fried rice, minus any vegetables or egg, with small amounts of beef, chicken, and shrimp thrown in. To give a specific example, there were only 2 pieces of shrimp in the entire bowl. To add insult to injury, the rice bowl was priced at an exuberant $9 -- it was way, WAY overpriced. (I wish I had gotten a pic of the rice bowl, but it slipped my mind as I'm normally only worried about capturing what I'm eating).

5.) When you have to ask for a container to hold the soy sauce in which to dip sushi, as well as having to ask for wasabi, you know that you're not at a real sushi place.

6.) The service was sooooo slow, and possibly inept. It looked like there were only two waitresses for the busy lunch crowd, and the customers suffered for it. After our meal, my lunch mate and I were trying to get out of there quick because the slow service had eaten up all of my lunch mate's lunch hour, and it took us awhile to get our check. And when we did get our check, we discovered that it was for the wrong table, so we had to waste more time obtaining the right check.

After all of the trouble written about above, we were finally able to leave the restaurant, and I will never return to that particular restaurant again. It seemed like this restaurant was established by someone that thought it would be a good idea to open up a sushi restaurant, but who didn't know the first thing about running such an establishment. There was nothing good about this restaurant, NOTHING. Avoid it at all costs.



Maki
Review #

Restaurant

Location

Reviewer

Date

Rating

83-h

Maki

10515 N. Mopac Expy, Suite A165
Austin, TX 78759
(512) 243-8298

Head Public Restaurant Critic

12/19/09

Sucks!

Aww... fuck me. I don't really visit Maki any more, for a variety of reasons, but the main reason I think is that I just kind of got tired of it. Maki now seems stale and uninviting to me, and the 'creating your own roll' aspect just seems to suck out all/any character that the place holds/held. Anyway, I'm not that big of a Maki fan as I was previously, but I was excited about this visit as this was my tenth visit using their frequent eater card and I was due for a free roll.

I've been planning my free roll for a while now -- I knew what I was going to get. I was going to get a soft shell crab roll, and I was looking forward to it. I've never had a soft shell crab before, but everything I've heard and read about them has led me to believe that they are delicious.

I was looking forward to getting a soft shell crab roll, but fuck me, just my luck, they were out of soft shell crabs... I was extremely disappointed. What made it even worse was that the only purpose of this visit was to get my free roll and never visit Maki anymore.

Now, in this situation, I had a couple of options open to me: (1) leave; (2) get a non-'soft shell crab' roll as my free roll; or (3) get a non-'soft shell crab' roll, pay for it, and save my 'free roll' for another day. I didn't want to do '(1)' as I had already made the trip out there to Maki. I didn't want to do '(2)' as I wanted to use my 'free roll' on Maki's most expensive roll, which just so happens to be the 'soft shell crab' roll. So, I was left with '(3)' as my only option, which sucked because I did not intend to spend a great deal of money on this visit. So, I ended up buying a roll with salmon, cream cheese, cucumber, and avocado (my normal). What made this visit suck even more was when, after I had paid, gotten my order, and sat down, I saw via a table flyer that I was currently there during Maki's happy hour and that I could have gotten a Philly roll (similar to my roll) at a discount (would have been nice if the staff had relayed this information to me when they were making my roll).

This visit kind of sucked. I didn't redeem my free roll for a soft shell crab roll, I had to spend money on a roll, and I could have gotten a similar roll at a discount. Fuck me.

Also, this visit I realized that Maki is a bit overpriced. Sushi ain't cheap, but Maki doesn't serve sushi, they just serve rolls. Maki doesn't have the type of overhead that real sushi places have, so they should not charge the prices that those real places charge.

Anyway, I think I'm just tired of Maki. This visit was supposed to be my Maki swan song, but it looks like there's at least one last Maki visit in me.



Pluckers
Review #

Restaurant

Location

Reviewer

Date

Rating

10

Pluckers

2222 Rio Grande
Austin, Texas 78705
phone: 512-469-WING

Head Public Restaurant Critic

2/14/2008

Sucks!

A friend of mine recently wanted to go out to eat at ‘Pluckers’, a place I really don’t care for, but I decided to go anyway. After the visit, I can affirm that I really really don’t care for it.

First, the ‘Pluckers’ we visited is the one next to the UT campus and, since my last visit, they have remodeled and moved locations by like 30 yards. The night we went, two guys from some radio station were broadcasting live from the restaurant…,and they were annoying. It was some UT sports radio program and they had the guys on speakers throughout the restaurant, talking about stuff I didn’t care for but was forced to listen to just because they were broadcast through the entire restaurant. Why anybody would want to broadcast a radio show from inside a restaurant or why a restaurant would want a radio show to be broadcast from their location is beyond me, but oh well, that’s strike one.

Strike two happened when we got our food. I ordered a combo of 10 wings and waffle fries and my dinner-mate ordered a chicken sandwich, but he got chicken tenders or fingers or whatever snappy name ‘Pluckers’ calls them, but either way, they weren’t what he had ordered. When we alerted our waiter to this, we got strike three.

Strike three – The waiter apologized for the mistake and gave us some queso and chips for free. But, as the waiter was taking away the chicken tenders, my dinner-mate asked him that if they were just going to throw the chicken tenders in the trash, why not just leave them for us on the table and not waste food. The waiter responded that the food was going to come out of his paycheck and that we was going to use the chicken tenders as his meal for the night (I guess they get a free or discounted meal every shift). My dinner-mate and I felt a little sorry for him that he was going to have to eat the food he erroneously served us, but there really was nothing we could do. I felt even more pity as I could see him in the back putting the chicken tenders in a to-go box for himself. It really was an awkward moment.

Overall, I kind of hate ‘Pluckers’, especially this location. The food’s unhealthy and overpriced and the entire wait staff seems like they’re high on drugs – our waiter certainly seem to be high, as he was slow, un-attentive, and just generally space-y, not to mention that he couldn’t even get our order right, and we were just a party of two.

For some reason, people seem to like ‘Pluckers’ and I don’ understand why. Every time I go there I end up feeling grossed out with myself coming out because it is so unhealthy, not to mention I also feel raped of my money because it is so over-priced.

The sad part is that I want to say that I will never eat there again, but I would be lying. Eventually, I’ll be hanging out with friends and someone will want to go eat there and I’ll be dragged along. Oh well.

The Wrong Dish

Texas Roadhouse
Review #

Restaurant

Location

Reviewer

Date

Rating

123

Texas Roadhouse

1224 E. Jackson Avenue
McAllen, TX 78503
(956) 682-5400

Head Public Restaurant Critic

12/24/09

Sucks!

Texas Roadhouse is a combination of all the things I hate about 'chain' restaurants. Bad food, spotty service, crazy portions, and outrageous design. After my party and I were seated, we were given complimentary bread, which was fine, but the butter that came with it, spiced with cinnamon, was not. Next, we ordered the combo appetizer, which according to their menu comes with "Chicken Critters, Tater Skins, and Rattlesnake Bites served with choice of three sauces (BBQ Sauce, Cajun Horseradish Sauce, Honey Mustard, Ranch or Sour Cream)." The chicken critters were basically chicken strips, the tater skins loaded potato skins, and the rattlesnake bites breaded cheese and jalapeno balls. The appetizers were fine, if unhealthy and not well presented, and, contrary to the menu, we were not given a choice of three sauces by our server.

For my entree I had the "Filet Medallions" which is described by their menu as "Three tender filets (9 ounces total) topped with choice of Peppercorn or Portobello Mushroom sauce and served over seasoned rice"; this entree came with a choice of two sides, of which I choose the cup of chili and the baked potato (which cost an extra dollar to get loaded). The chili came topped with red onion and cheese and looked like a pile of mud. It was alright, but it tasted a lot like the Wolf Brand chili that comes out of the can. I think I prefer the chili at Wendy's over this chili. The "seasoned rice" was over seasoned. Presentation-wise, the plate looked like it had just been thrown together. Oh, and the choice of peppercorn or portobello mushroom sauce that the menu promised? There was none, nor was I given the option of a sauce by the server.

This place is too expensive for the lazy service and food. This place sucks.



Stone Werks
Review #

Restaurant

Location

Reviewer

Date

Rating

81

Stone Werks

7300 Jones Maltsberger Rd.
San Antonio, Texas 78209
(210) 828-3508

Head Public Restaurant Critic

11/28/2008

Sucks!

So I went to a Stone Werks restaurant in San Antonio and my first impression is that they need to learn to spell. I know they mean 'Stone Works', but I guess they decided to use 'Stone Werks' instead to try and be hip and gangsta or something like that. I even checked the Webster's New College Dictionary (2007 edition) and neither 'werk' nor 'werks' have entries, although in my research I did find that the definition of "whatchamacallit" is 'THINGAMAJIG' (their uppercase, not mine), so I guess all was not lost.

So my family and I went to this restaurant and it looked pretty good -- it had both outdoor and indoor seating areas (we elected to eat indoors) and was sparsely, but nicely, decorated with white Christmas lights and other subtle decorations. While I was looking at their menu, my brother, who had been to this restaurant before, said that he was going to order one of their specials, which was a small pizza and a salad for around $10. At a restaurant (I presumed) as nice as this, I didn't want to try their salad or pizza -- I wanted something more substantial, something I couldn't easily get elsewhere, so I went with their 'Crawfish Stuffed Salmon with Champagne Cream Sauce' which their menu describes as 'Atlantic salmon filet stuffed with our crawfish tail stuffing, broiled and topped with a champagne cream sauce. Served with roasted Yukon gold wedges and sautéed vegetables'. I thought I was going to have an awesome meal.

When our food was brought to us, the salmon stuffed with the crawfish looked and tasted pretty good, but the potatoes and vegetables were inedible. The potatoes were black and shriveled, obviously either over cooked or left sitting out too long, or both. The vegetables were just plain cold, meaning they had just been sitting around for awhile waiting for someone to order them (e.i., me). I was hugely disappointed with the side items and, at the same time, I was hugely impressed by the audacity of the restaurant to actually serve this crappy food and not expect to be called out on it.

In the end, I realized that if I ever visit this restaurant again, I'm getting the $10 salad and pizza, which looked (both taste and economic wise) so much better than the dish I had ordered, which I had originally thought would kick the salad's and pizza's collective ass, but alas, I admit defeat. What a disappointment.



Subway
Review #

Restaurant

Location

Reviewer

Date

Rating

94

Subway

809 Congress Ave
Austin, TX 78701-2425
(512) 480-9102

Head Public Restaurant Critic

3/19/2009

Sucks!

This is by far the worst Subway that I have been to. I've already reviewed Subway twice before, and honestly, a Subway is a Subway, and as I've been pretty busy of late, I haven't really been looking to review more restaurants of the same chain that I've already covered, but man, my visits to this Subway have really ticked me off by its employees' lack of customer service and courtesy.

To start with, there's this one bitch that works there that is always yelling and seeming to have a bad day, and instead of being professional and putting that sort of stuff behind her while she's working, she just spreads it to the customers like a virulent virus. On this visit, she was putting the toppings on my sandwich, and she asked what I wanted on it. Now, on the 'sneeze shield', there is a decal with the words in a big font "the works" and showing individual pictures of lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, pickles, peppers (green bell), olives, red onions, jalapenos, and banana peppers, and then in a smaller font, "(excludes banana peppers & jalapenos)". At this point I'm confused, because I wanted banana peppers but no jalapenos, so do I say "the works with banana peppers" or "the works without jalapenos"? Because at this point I'm thinking that most customers see the pictures, don't read the fine print, and assume that jalapenos and banana peppers are included in the works.

So, to avoid the least amount of confusion I go with the lowest common denominator answer and say, "I want the works with no tomatoes, no peppers, and no jalapenos, but with banana peppers," getting in all of the information that I need to convey to accurately describe my order. The bitch responds, rudely, "The works doesn't come with jalapenos. So you want the works, no tomatoes, no peppers, with banana peppers." In my head I wanted to just yell "fuck you." She got my order correct because I gave her all of the information that she needed to get my order correct, yet she felt the need to one-up me because I apparently don't understand what the works includes, when I do, and in my effort to avoid confusion I get confrontation with this bitch going into specifics. To avoid future, imminent conflict, I just thought mean thoughts about her in my head and decided that I'm writing a third Subway review.

So I get my sandwich, a roasted chicken foot long, and think about how much I hate this particular Subway restaurant. The employees here just don't care. In addition to the rude confrontation already described, I get a huge chunk of red onion skin in my sandwich, which was inedible. On a previous visit to this restaurant, I got a roasted chicken breast which was a quarter brunt, dried up, and inedible. On another visit, one of the so-called “sandwich artists” making my sandwich had a cigarette in her ear.

I hate this location. The people that work her are white trash, as evidenced by their attitudes, cigarettes in ear, and total lack of care in their product. The employees here think they come first, which is not a way to run a restaurant, even a Subway. Don't eat here.

Also, another thing that pisses me off, and this is about the franchise as a whole and not just this particular location, is that they are running a promotion advertising that ALL of their sandwiches are $5, but it turns out that not ALL of their sandwiches are $5, as they have fine print excluding certain sandwiches. They call them exceptions, I call it false advertising. Subway has left a bad taste in my mouth.




Contact: HeadPublicRestaurantCritic AT gmail DOT com